I an trashes at a wedding. Hotbcousins here I come. Agh.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
on the way home the dog started throwing up her bone in the car..so naturally i started to puke too
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
hold on, were in the kitchen painting a yellow brick road to my vagina on my leg with black light paint.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I took her to the bar and boom. All of my past slump busters were there. Shes cool enough to know what that means and said she was afraid they'd eat her so we left.
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
At this point, just throw that mattresses away. Or bronze it and display it as a testament to your shame. either is good.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
Woke up next to a slice if pizza. From what i can tell I tried to plug it into my phone charger. No more blackout wednesdays for this girl.
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