Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
At the doctor. They're doing a flu test now. He was like "where do you think you got this?" I said "bachelor party. Strippers." he goes "okaaaay I'll put 'other'."
worse. her friends hid in the bathroom while she gave me head and then screamed surprise right as i was about to cum
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Please tell me your aunt didn't see the Brita pitcher full of condom wrappers. We had at least 100.
Haga you didnt jbsii whee wu an therer
Party on wayne
And then he tried to clean the throw up off my pants with 409
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
Was considering going to moonshine but I think I'm just gonna stay home and drink beer because there is no law against partial nudity here.
And then I fed you egg rolls in bed as you were screaming I'm moving out
UPS just delivered me 30lbs of dried cherries... I shouldn't be allowed online when I take painkillers.
His name was Dragon. For real. How do you not sleep with a Dragon? Don't judge me.
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