we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
You're the only person i know who can laugh and talk while puking
I knew he was a nice guy, because when we switched positions he flipped the mattress so I wouldn't have to lay in a pool of his sweat.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
He was singing Justin Beiber while we did it. I love secure Spanish men
he went up stairs with nothing on but calvin klein's and an eskimo hat, said hi to her dad, got a doughnut, and left like it was an everyday thing
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
I woke up to find his roommate face down on the couch with no pants on, with a sticky note that said "was lost but now am found"
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
We're taking a shot every time Landon Donovan takes a shot. It's clever, sort of.
also i don't know what you guys ate last night but he broke the toilet
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
I took it as a sign from the lord above that she wanted me to creep on these men.
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