At first I felt shameful, waking up naked next to a box of oreos and half a can of cake frosting...then I realized, this could be a bigger discovery than Atlantis.
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
Have u Seen that eharmony commercial where the guy goes " I don't know how I could love her anymore, but tomorrow I will'. Yeah that guy should kill himself
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
id say bad/good trip...at first I wanted to claw off my skin... but then when i tried i ended up tickling myself for an hour.
I looked up while we were having sex to see him covering my pillow pet's eyes with his free hand. I think I'm in love
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
I think the fact that I shit my pants, threw away my underwear in a frat bathroom, lost my socks down a drain in the front yard and still got laid... deserves some sort of a victory drink for myself or a blowjob for him since he was such a good sport.
Its like her house is inhabited by 50 year old lesbian water color artists with a throw pillow fetish
I'm not leaving my family to go to a strip club on good friday.
I think there is a legit party going on the place we thought was AA
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
i had to call the bar to ask if they found my bowling ball. That good of a night
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