the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
shes laying on the floor in a bowl of salsa with her pants half off and she's crying... i dont know what to do...
My bullwhip has saved my life tonight and gotten me laid. I'm gonna be Indiana Jones every Halloween!
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
I just look at my butt and see so much potential.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
Randomize
