I wannas sexs uuuuu
Omg. The strippers are having a batman vs spiderman showdown. Both on stage. Genius.
wait can you just look around please? that was my favorite bra and i've already asked like 3 other guys
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
it's kinda bad that we're already planning travel arrangements to his funeral
I'm by the dj to the left. Come get me now this girl is talking about baby names and I dnt even no hers
I can't see you
I'm the only one that's wearing a tarzan outfit get your ass over here you douche
Just helped a homeless man panhandle outside of Wawa, made him $6.31. Where are you?
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
we're meeting twins and drinking tequila. i love life
Banana suit guy has an entourage and they're all douchebags. There is no god.
I feel like a weird modern Betty Crocker. I'm icing a cake and looking at gay porn, if that's not an accurate portrayal of the 21st century idk what is.
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
Like I’ve seen him completely trashed and I’ve also seen him rip shirtsleeves off with his teeth and I can’t tell if I’m intrigued or not
Are you really trying to argue your case that you seduced my cat?
Randomize