I'll bet she douches with gravy.
Worst relationship ever. Keep in mind I've dated two married chicks and a Mormon.
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
It was all cool until he grabbed my vag and started screaming: THIS IS MINE.
Obviously a higher power wants us to be sunday drunk together
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
Just had Jager bombs for breakfast with her roommate... I do not regret this newfound lesbianism.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
We made out in front of everyone INCLUDING his girlfriend. And no one saw. THAT DRUNK!
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
I once left mine in my bra and I forgot and I didn't notice it was there until it vibrated.
Randomize
