his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE. I WILL STOP HOOKING UP WITH GUYS EX'S FOR REVENGE.
Nothing says walk of shame better than a onesie and a 12 pack of corona..
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
i dont trust my judgment anymore so im only going to fuck guys who can donate blood at the red cross. they have standards.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I wasn't going to just ask my parents for a damn vibrator for christmas
I finally got my restraining order in the mail. Was that supposed to upset me? I'm just over here like "TELLEM BOY BYE!-\nlegally..."
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
I cant wait to tell our kids we met because you subscribed to my onlyfans.
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