it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
Yeaaah, so cabbie laughed at me, and said, "rough nite? Let me find you some music" . apparently OPP is the appropriate ride of shame soundtrack.
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
nothing like smoking out of your roommate's bong with your mom to celebrate the rising of christ
he is risen halelujah
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
the amount I squirted last night was insane. Im glad i ignored tlc's advice, i went chasing waterfalls and loved every god damn minute of it.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
I don't know if the fact that I carry lube in my purse means I'm living life right or I'm doing it wrong..
Nothing says "Happy New Year" like having to shit into a plastic bag.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just bumped into this random I hooked up with a few years ago at Steve's party. Talk about a fingerblast from the past!
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
Randomize
