I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
You should get sea herpes
I mean sea horses
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
I remember pointing out how smooth my legs were to try to direct his attention away from my vagina.
would you say our friendship is at the "help each other shave animal patterns in each other's pubes" phase?
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
His roommates came in and started a dance party in his room while we were having sex. He said it wasnt the first time.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
yeah, but I wanna be the girl that makes him realize he's 100% gay
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
2020 sucks, I want a refund
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