yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
He was taking the caps off the vodka bottles and throwing them out the window so we'd have to finish them. Engineers have the best logic.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
... was I dreaming when we did coke off of the xbox, or did that really happen?
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Awkward family moment #1: walked in on my 15 yr old nephew packing a bowl. Nephew says- "lets not ruin christmas and keep this our little secret"
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
No no no no no no.... That's my emergency bottle for when I realize I've hit rock bottom
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
Emergency. I brought a boy home and we fell asleep, but I just woke up to him peeing against my bedroom wall. So I brought him to the bathroom but he fell over and he's sleeping in the tub. Can I leave him there? Because that's what I've done.
Better the hardwood than the carpet, right?
not even sure this counts as hungover but like my body can't exist in reality today
Randomize
