i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
Hey, my drug test is at 4:15 tomorrow. I'll meet you 5 minutes later.
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
The dog threw up again, this time IN the toilet. I've taught him well.
This freshman just ran out of her seat in a 200 person lecture, opened the emergency door and vommed everywhere. Then quietly went back to her seat. $2 Pitchers hit someone hard last night.
Ur dog was like a damn middle school chaperone this morning trying to lay between us after what he saw us do last night
Is valentines day the worst or best day to ask for a threesome? I'm weighing some options on this high-risk manoeuvre.
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
I drank too much tequila. I'm hyperventilating. Send help. I think I slipped through satan's asshole.
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
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