Yo I charged a $20 breakfast to ur room, will pay u back in liquor and schoolgirl panties, thx again for a fun time
tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
I took chris brown's side in the conversation ... cut to me not getting laid tonight
I had to close one eye to read the questions on my final this morning. That hungover.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Emily is drunk. We're coming to see you at work and we're bringing jello shots for you.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
Fair warning, if I start singing "Kiss Me, I'm Shitfaced" at any point tomorrow, just go with it
My mom has finally acknowledged my soft spot for Russians. Finally.
Fucking that physical therapist guy was the best decision I ever made.
I'm gonna eat you out. But for science
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Just trying to show you I care.
Isn't it supposed to be "what would you like for dinner?" instead of "how do you take your blow?"
Hey, you're the one who asked me to mc to move in.
Randomize