you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
Haha, you kept saying the cop was going to give you a ride home b/c "that's his job, it's summer."
Rachel and his cat watched us 69 last night. I pretended to be embarrassed the next day... But to be honest I like an audience
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
also somebody did cough syrup and i was really worried but i couldn’t express why properly so i was like MACKLEMORE SAYS NO
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
