no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
My penis is the apex of life and all other references. Lookin for a cheap vagina at this point. And cheap Korean BBQ
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
The drunk mom in a firefighter hat just told her to leave.
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
I'M TOO HORNY FOR GRAMMAR!!!
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Randomize
