Rock
Scissors
Fuck
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
As of tonight I have officially had sex during every Disney movie.
im pretty sure thats the first step to being a pedafile
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
I feel like the way you told me you weren't pregnant was pretty anticlimactic.
I literally just fucked insane clown pussy. 24 yo nut job moonlights at children's parties. Gave me head while still in full clown makeup from my kid's birthday party.
Hey, I shot that toilet dead center, drunk, from at least 6 ft away. I'm a fuckin awesome shot. You guys were completely safe.
Yes, that toilet won't be hurting anyone anymore.... Hahaha
EMERGENCY FRIEND CRISIS: WE HAVE TOO MUCH WHISKEY. ABORT HANGING OUT WITH MELISSA, RECOMMEND TO HANG OUT WITH OUR WHISKEY INSTEAD
Getting drunk in an Applebee's pray for me
Lord god protect this child
She asked what the dent on the hood of my car was from..i think she knows we had sex up there
I will give him this, every time we go to the club he gets a stripper's actual number.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
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