Saying she let herself go implies she was actually holding on
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
Sometimes I wish there were a little bird hiding that would periodically go, "creep-per."
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
He left his own bachelor party to bring me weed. Then smoked with me. Tell me I'm not his favorite-ex-friends-with-benefits.
got blackout drunk at the conference and wandered around Minneapolis with a homeless person until one of the other interns found me...I think I'm ready for adulthood.
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
Randomize
