My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I may have discovered that porn hub is on my top visited sites during class this morning.
i may or may not be dressed up as my farmville farmer. gonna harvest some ladiesss tonight!!!
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
Just heard this lady walk by on her phone saying "did everyone orgasm?"
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Just smoked the bong while taking a dump. I love living by myself.
UHG. i just want to have hot lesbian sex and eat pizza with you.
When I got home he was in his underpants on the couch, eating pop tarts and crying while watching Voltron.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
Randomize
