I really want to sleep with her friend. I'm hoping our casual sex relationship will somehow lead to that.
everytime he calls himself the maxipad master i can't help but wonder what costume that would involve.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
I'm just saying, asking "Are you happy with me?" during a handjob is simply unfair and scientifically inadmissiable.
He's had mdma poured down his throat. He's getting huggy.
i sucked his cock and got snuggles in return. I'm the mother Theresa of giving in a relationship.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
What kind of scumbag goes to a baby's 1st birthday party with a black eye? This kind. Me. I'm disgraceful.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
I need to wear something that says I would have sex with you but I'm not going to
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
She wouldn't fuck me because I had a cast, so I took her friend home
Somehow reaching for the flaming hot cheetos ended up in the best sex of my life
Do not buy a prego test at the Walgreens you frequent. It's awkward. Just trust me.
Randomize
