i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
She came to work with 6 additional layers of make-up, playing every Nickelback song about explicit teen sex, and with a dozen twinkies she bet she could finish without chewing any. I'm investing in a rape whistle.
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
I'm in the library if you wanna come give me library head.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Do I really need this much space in my mouth?
Are you already high?
This guy is trying to get me to do some acrobatic gymnast shit just so he can see "my tight hole." I'm too big to be sweating in my own damn bed. Shittttt.
My boyfriend's brother just got out of jail and he is already telling us to steal cable. Dude.
I think he knows I took a picture of him. Why I don't get punched in the face more often is anyone's guess.
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
What happens if you die with an erection? Does it stay hard? Disclaimer: I'm high.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
I just saw a guy walking down the street without a shirt on and holding a samari sword....
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