I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
he was chasing shots of soco with fistfuls of my birthday cake
I want a meaningful relationship and i wont get one if i keep giving him blow jobs in my basement while watching family guy.
I should have slept with you when you were wearing the gorilla suit. I've had dreams about your chest hair. I hope jail wasn't too bad.
Either I spilled whiskey on my boobs last night or they are fermenting. Not concerned in the slightest
Just paid off my possession ticket on 4/20. Helloooo awesome.
Got a handy at the foam party. Took girl home. Banged her. Thanked her for foam handy. "what handy?"
he cancelled our romantic dinner reservations so we could stay home and watch a Rocky movie marathon and order pizza. i know i should be upset but i think i'm kinda in love.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
he just fluffed my hair and told me I had to dance with him because we were both gingers.
Fly, little bird! Repopulate the ginger race!
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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