I forgot to tell you. I'm at a porno shoot today.
Of course im so fucked up sarah. I fight away tornadoes.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Were you really trying to feed me potato chips while I was sitting on the toilet?
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
She was kinda cute. So long as you don't mind neck tattoos and bad life choices.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
should I tell them that both of them had sex with me last Saturday? it might be a relationship builder type of thing you know?
Poorly worded request for dick pic resulted in stoned beanie selfies and "lol". Miscommunication is the devil's cock block.
I think my boss gives me work off weekends because he doesn't want me showing up hungover anymore..
Donald Trump looks like someone photoshopped hair onto a dick pic.
I've never seen so much of my blood outside me. After the initial shock it was kind of cool.
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
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