If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
There's a guy in a life size dick costume, and two guys with white shirts that are each half if a pair of breasts in a red bra lol. They came separate but when they saw each other there was some titty fucking in the street, it's only 11
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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