I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
You are writing your college essay comparing yourself to Lady Gaga, Vladimir Putin, and Dale Earnhardt Jr. and you are worried about the conclusion sounding cheesy?
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Burnt food and a broken vibrator. Disappointment after disappointment. Is April a man?
I looked like a tiger in heat. He didn't know if I wanted to fuck him or eat him.
Probably should start having regular sex again too to lose this breakup weight. Good cardio.
I just wanna fuck your brother. Sorry if thats a crime.
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