I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
Exactly how deep of a burn should you have when you pee before becoming legitimately concerned?
Midgets have it so easy. They have so much less leg area to shave.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
Party was cancelled. Me and my dog are high as tits. Wanna go roam the outlet mall?
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
Oh that could end badly if you get them mixed up.. you know who I think you should focus on?? THE ONE WITH THE BIG BLACK COCK, just sayin
Sorry I couldn't make it...got a scrambled voicemail, all I heard was "Bring the dildo"
Didn't get carded at the bar. We're getting wasted and then walking over to Bass Pro Shops to watch the indoor ducks swim around. And possibly buying a tent.
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
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