if you take his cock out, you have to give him a bj. it's like giving a moose a muffin.
I read the police report. You asked the cop if you could use his in-car computer to update your facebook. No way you get out of a DUI.
Her underwear doesnt even match. If youre going to be a face book whore at least have matching shit.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
Dude I'm about to just roll over and piss off the side of my bed, rather than make the conscious effort to get up and walk to the bathroom. One of those hangovers.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I just used bulldog clips for nipple clamps. Also, a wooden spoon as a paddle. DYI Domination or Ghetto Bondage?
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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