Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
My workout was carrying 2 cases home from the grocery. It's Bowl Week.
tan lines, throwing up everclear on the beach, doing lifeguards, tequila...summer.
I woke up to my dog trying to clean my vagina.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE MILDLY SOCIALLY ACCEPTABLE SEX WITH HIM AND CALL HIM CUPCAKE.
So I come home yesterday and my brother is like "watch this" and it turns out he's been retraining my dog to come running when u say "anal"
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
I think I freaked him out last night. We got back to my place and I made chicken nuggets, chicken Alfredo, and half of one of those huge oreida hashbrown bags. And then ate all of it
He had to put the child locks on the windows so you would stop screaming at random boys
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
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