oh good, I think they're gone
the painters?
my herpes
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
Apparently from about 3-5AM I was consoling that crying stripper about her life choices.
He's not messing around tonight. 4 fist pumps.
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I've never SEEN someone give negative fucks before. It's actually rather impressive. I want to study under them.
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
I just convinced a telemarketer I live in a tree.
What did he say?
He still asked if I want a home security system.
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize
