Pussy?
how
Wat do u mean how?
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
his mom found me in the closet hiding and the only thing i could think of was to sit there and wave.
I've also hijacked your can opener. Sadly not for the same sexual reason as the muddler.
Cuz its complicated and I hate complicated and I miss your penis
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I sat on the toilet and peed through my jeans, then I pissed the bed and blamed him...do you think well have a 2nd date?
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
He's tying my arms above my head and all I can think is that I should've shaved my armpits
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
Anyone who does not consider cereal and wine as a balanced breakfast needs to leave immediately.
Probably shouldn't be looking at memes at my grandmother's funeral
Randomize
