just got pizza delivered to the hot tub. its easier than i thought to be this lazy
I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
He just showed me a video of his erect penis moving to the beet of the music when he was high, I think I'm in love.
As long as you're naked and covered in glow paint, I'm there.
shit went down at the bar when this girl with 'morals' totally cock blocked a married guy. she actually kicked IN the bathroom door when they were fucking in there. then we all did shots.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
You called a girl at 4:30am to tell her "your pussy is my top priority" while simultaneously Urban Spooning late night cafes.
God I need to stop before there's a picture of my dick on my mom's phone.
The walk home lasted longer than the sex. He lives in the flat above the bar.
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
OMG he dropped his pants for me. Granted it was to show me where he got stabbed but still...
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
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