i think you shook his penis after he was done peeing.
That ginger could cleveland steamer me and it would still be the best day of my life
I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
Who pooed in my magic bullet?
Sorry the bathroom was being used.
i hope not, i just know that at one point I was sitting on the bathroom floor eating bugles and crying because i had no one to show that it looked like I had witch nails when i stuck them on the ends of all ofmy fingers.
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I pour the whiskey from now on
It threw me off a little. I had to take a moment and ask myself, "Is he really fingering me in his mom's kitchen while I eat a whopper?"
I havent moved from the couch and I'm licking peanut butter from a spoon, I'm a beautiful person.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
