Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
Well if it makes you feel any better I threw up at Roadhouse. And then on the way to the train. And then in a water fountain. And then in a plastic bag on the train.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I had to help some 40 year old women shoot down some 21 year old who called her his "milf fantasy"
Oh please not the Easy Cheese again. That was weird.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Nothing like cleaning out your cleavage from lunch, finding cookie crumbs and eating them...
I don't want to jinx anything but I may have found the one.
Cat or human?
Human
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
Can't believe we're making vacation plans with the guy we had a threesome with
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