so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
just found his boxers balled up inside my tights, hidden in my freezer. damn i love college.
I just filled out my 2010 Census drunkenly. I'm single handedly throwing it off.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I baked a frozen pizza completely, put it back in the plastic and box, and put it back in the freezer. THAT drunk.
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
We were too tired to finish having sex so we just stopped to eat the cheesecake and passed out. I didn't mind
I HAVE A TEST I'M SORRY YOUR UN SUCKED DICK ISN'T MY FIRST CONCERN
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
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