We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
So i literally just wrote sorry on my quiz and turned it in.
Nah you can have him. There's too many men in my life right now. I can't handle another dick.
Quite frankly, I consider the fact that I'm NOT pregnant one of my greatest achievements and I'd like to chronicle that ongoing success. I'm going to post pictures of me at "0 weeks" once a week.
I'm blaming hurricane Irene if I get pregnant tonight.
Someone got day drunk, but I'm not saying who.
It was me.
While all the other girls were trying to out skut the next, Cameron was just doing cartwheels around the bar. I think she's the only one who got laid.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I feel like if you're funneling natty lights on a Wednesday at 2:30pm at the apartment complex pool during finals week, you probably don't have your priorities straight.
It started out as friends with benefits and now I'm picking up her kids from daycare...what has happened to me
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Stop letting me drink alone on saturdays. My last 2 google searches were "short legs" and "caterpillar eyebrows" ? I don't even know.
Randomize
