Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
Nothing on google about my condom issue. However, if you get a chance google: condom with teeth.
the moment we started interpretive dancing last night wouldve been a good time to stop drinking.
I'll be accepting presents in the forms of drinks, drugs, and orgasms. So any or all of those will be fine.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
What's standard gratutity for someone having a miscarriage on stage at a strip club? It's important.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
So did I or did I not flash an entire concert last night?
me + whiskey = a bad person
I'm not sorry for loving America more than everyone else
I came home and my mom goes "why are you barefoot and where the hell are your shoes?" and I replied "I have French fries"
Randomize
