We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
there should be laws that require people like to me to be on birth control.
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
He just got here and all he's wearing is a cloth over his penis.
I'll uninvite my mom
2 things: 1) can you get hep from toilet water? And 2) do you know where we can get a new skillet for cheap?
Please tell me those aren't related.
I made rice.
I chugged that bitch with a dip in.
You somehow managed to be a man whilst drinking a Mike's Hard. I commend you.
I was cracking open beer cans, throwing them off the roof, and yelling "FRAG OUT!"
I started dipping tositos in my screwdriver last night
then apparently I went "not bad" and continued
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
Randomize
