I don't understand how people can have that much vomit in them
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
you called me in the middle of the night, wandering the streets, in search of "the ultimate burrito"
getting up at 8am to start drinking seemed like a much better idea before I had to wake up at 8am
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
When he couldn't get it up, he handed me a beer, put his clothes back on, and said "try again tomorrow."
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
we f'd six times
f'd?
its sunday, i cant say fucked
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
You where banging on the wall asking us where we hid the door...you then crawled under the deck thinking you'd be safe. I told you to eat the nachos before the party...I told you.....
Randomize