oh god the rape fog is back!
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
I want to say that being forced to stare at the 'no.1 boyfriend' collage behind his head ruined the sex but it just didn't.
Sorry I didn't text you for coffee this morning...bad life decision Saturday sorta rolled into Monday...
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
Then you started asking people on the drunk bus if they knew the word "gumption". if they didn't you told them they weren't taking advantage of their high education opportunities and you were disappointed in them.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
I just found one of your beard hairs in my oatmeal.
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
I’ve got a sex swing and lube, he’s not going anywhere soon
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