It's not a real calculator it's a math calculator
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My alcohol tolerance is way too high for this paycheck.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
The only way I can describe this shit is male aloe vera plant in both looks and feel its standing in the toilet
Thanks for that....my girlfriend picked up my phone and saw that
He drank his beer out of his own shoe. Its his "party trick"
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
Also, my old intern Lizzie whom you fed pizza to last night wants to hang out with you
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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