i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
I'm still amazed at how you managed to puke in every plant on the whole top floor at the mall without a single person noticing and without missing a step.
I am only moving my arms so I remember that I can. These brownies are wild.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
Well, it's a fine line between people-watching and boob-staring. It's a gray area. But we're in Paris. Let's leave it at that.
Don't call police on the strange man passed out in his car in the driveway. I'll be home around noon to collect him.
It is clearly not my fault that you decided studying was more important than trying to bang our hot teacher for an A, so I seized the opportunity.
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Earlier today I was eating cookie dough from a tube, now I'm laying naked next to a hot guy watching Pawn Stars in between orgasms. You really can have it all.
They gave my sperm a pep talk after they found out we were trying.to have.a baby.
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