I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
TOMORROW NIGHT CAN I HOLD YOU LIKE A BABY
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
I literally recorded a toilet flushing to make it his ringtone to remind me what a piece of shit he is
turns out that the cat the james was trying to catch was a raccoon. call me when you get this, i need an ER buddy
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
You're invited to our X-games themed party. We have an ice luge and every time someone eats shit we drink. It's gonna be great.
Props to you. You took the bet seriously. Making out with her for an hour right after she spewed
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Everclear isn't food dammit
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
its 8 and I'm HUNGOVER!! how is that possible??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
