I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
how can you tell if its a queef or a fart from that close?
just threw the rents a curveball by making french toast and bacon when i came home sober. good luck tellin when im high/drunk now.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
burritoes are like sleeping bags for ground beef
no one should ever give us hovercrafts
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
You do resemble something that has been used as a chew toy.
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
well i maturbated this morning, which means the best part of my day has already happened.
My dad is clearly baked off his ass. He almost sat on moms cat in front of her, zoned out while staring at it and said he wondered what it was thinking about. Now he's dragging everything from the livingroom into the garage. Moms not happy.
Randomize
