i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
well hello there hangover. fancy meeting you here on this BRIGHT thursday morning.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
he's from indiana, of course he's clueless about "g-spots"
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I'm sitting in my room naked waiting for him. When he gets here im going to make him do 20 pushups and lick my clit for a hour
I'm gonna keep a minimum of five drink promise to myself
You mean maximum 5?
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
