If I don't wake up snuggled up to 14 ice cream sandwiches, my life is incomplete.
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Pretending to care to care about playoffs in exchange for free shots. I'm sorry in advance.
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
running the faucet water is not hiding the sound of you vomiting. fyi.
He makes me wish my vagina was bigger... This must be what love feels like.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
He said I could pay him back in blow jobs. What's the going rate for those these days?
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
It's def pee. WHY DO I PEE ON THINGS WHEN I DRINK TEQUILA
I haven't been hungover in so long I'm actually looking forward to it
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
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