no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
Get out of your relationship and into my pants.
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
What's a nice way of saying "You fell asleep, and I got bored, so I made out with your brother"?
The only excuse this guy at the club had for trying to make out with me as soon as I met him was "I AM FROM MEXICOOO"
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
She's like a squirrel. She spazzes out all the time.
Randomize
