Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
Who's nuvaring is under my pillow?
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Pretty sure I used toilet water to wash vomit off my face last night...
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
Her instagram is literally selfies, cats, and guys she's fucked.
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
Randomize