if your dad confronts the dude you fucked about the background check he did on him, NOT GONNA GET A CALL BACK
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
We learned about herpes today in bio. I might as well have given the lecture
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Hate you missed the after party, I was covered in dish soap gliding bare assed down a slip n slide at 6:30 this morning
Like I feel like I use my high IQ for the wrong things
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
It was technically 11... But I go by McDonald's time, if they aren't servin breakfast, it's the afternoon. Therefore I can drink
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
she walked up to me at the bar, kissed me, andthen declared "I HAVEN'T SEEN YOU OR YOUR PENIS SINCE 2011."
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I take Paypal, cash, sexual favors, and roasted red potatoes with garlic as payment. You choose.
I feel a blackout coming on
Plz don't have me burst into your house saying you're late for re airport to rescue you from a fat girl again
That was 2 times
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Randomize
