Thought you might like this. Had a dance off with an andy bernard look alike and pissed my bed. All in one night.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
I am currently exfoliating my skin with the toilet. We've never been so close.
I think we need to teach you what straight means again
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
Hey start looking around for a low rider Subaru. Well get a loan. It will be capital for our first music video.
I taught a straight girl about grindr today. She showed me tinder. It was like some sexual cultural exchange program
Need to find a Santa hat to fit my penis, he deserves to be festive too.
Give me an out of order sign and caution tape and we can have sex practically anywhere.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
You were just laying there on the air mattress watching spongebob with a knife. We tried to take it from you, but you insisted it was your emergency escape in case you started to float off.
Randomize
