remember when mike pissed in his pants and then put a double cheeburger in the pocketsss of said wet pants for "safe keeping"? yea drunker then that.
Don't judge me. He's really sexy for a 17 year old. We made nasty in the womens bathroom at the beach. Don't worry. I wore sandals in there.
None of that is ok.
My vagina hasn't been this smooth since I was 8. I better get laid tonight.
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
get ready to load up the weird cannon and blow a load of buck-wildness all over the place people
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Shout out to my liver for being the true MVP. It easily put in more work than LeBron or Curry this week.
I pelvic thrusted so hard while he was eating me out that his nose started bleeding. I think it's broken. Trophy scars, right?
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