haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
We should steal a little kid and go to Chucke Cheese
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
broke the door off of my fridge tryin to have a indoor rodeo
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
I had to rip your toilet paper for you...
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I was full on naked standing in his room and I just said "this isn't me" and left.
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
Of two things I'm absolutely sure: 1. I only took 2 hits off that joint and 2. I definitely ran over hedwig on the way home
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
Randomize
