There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm thankful she wil die Alone. And I'm thankful I slept wiht her cousin. And brother.
I was really excited when he said that condoms didn't fit him, then he added "they fall right off"...
He just showed up at my house and was like "have you seen an axe laying around?" he wasnt wearing any shoes.
You wore a man's plastic top hat last night.
No I didn't. Whiskey did.
Dunno why I keep hitting snooze. It's never gonna give me the kind of sleep I need to be sober.
We got really stoned and then we fucked. Then he made me a panini.
Oooh, he sounds pretty classy
Actually, not at all. We were stoned so he made me a peanut butter panini. With a Rollo in the middle of it. And he left the panini press on all night. I could have died.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
It's official. My little brother has had more sex in my car than I have. I'm still tied with my little sister. I hate everybody.
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