some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
Don't text me when you know I'm doing lines on my phone
He's trying to kill me, one liver cell at a time. It's going to be a slow, but awesome death
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
Have invented new cocktail. Any flavor of crystal light and vodka. I call it "I am going to die alone"
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I have no idea what those words in that order meant, but if you go to Florida send me pics of strippers
So what happened? Or does sex + ramen pretty much cover it?
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
We'd like to invite you to our threesome! Lingerie is encouraged and drinks will be provided. Next Friday, roommate night, my bedroom. Hope to see you there!
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