so then you were screaming "GIVE ME KELVINS!" and heating things up in the microwave and no one knew what you wanted
i love how i spend my mornings exploring my phone to see what i did last night.
Some guy just watched me feed 30 dimes and 3 quarters for bread and cheese at the self checkout at walmart. I no longer comprehend shame...
I woke up with fried rice in my sweatshirt pocket came downstairs and found all the chicken in the fridge gone. I'm THAT roommate aren't I?
On a scale of one to everyone dying I say let's aim for a 7
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
She got drunk on the air plane and pretended to be an elephant for an hour...Atleast the kid behind us enjoyed it.
She needs to go. She is like the Yoko Ono of our group.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
Honestly you'd think more guys would be happy to date a cute female dealer, but apparently something about safety or whatever
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Randomize
