Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
even after i explained my bobby knight costume the bartender still kicked me out for throwing the chair
due to concerns over safety, the theme of the 'naked fondue party' has now been changed to the 'naked fondue party with optional apron' please b.y.o.apron. extra prizes for most creative apron.
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
That moment when I wear the same thing I did to a motel nooner to my family's Christmas party... Ho Hoety Ho bitches
Well, I could just slap my dick to my phone and see what it says
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
This Cougar is looking at me like I’m a piece of meat and buying me top shelf cocktails
I’m getting a fear boner thinking about what she might do to me
Randomize