All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Ketchup is God's man juice
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
Got stiff armed by the garbage man on the back of the truck...I just wanted to ride one block dude
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
Just don't have sex while watching Home Alone. It will ruin Christmas for you.
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
We just did a u turn on the highway to settle a dispute in a game of slug bug
Come on in and take your pants off
Randomize
