How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
I have green food coloring in my hair and just got a text from "Guy in the Yard"...so this morning is going just as you might imagine.
Apparently i asked the cab driver how much the ride was going to cost, (he said about $25) then i offered him 50 to let me drive the cab...
I don't remember because I was drunk out of my mind, but I have it on good authority that weed cinnamon buns at 3 in the morning with chocolate milk are better than sex.
He just kept repeating "not with an octopus" over and over for hours. Soooooo Porn Dare was a succes.
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
You told me I couldn't make out with you until I added you on LinkedIn
22 is way too old to still be having "thank god I think I'm getting my period" days
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist
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