dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
make sure i look cute passed out on the couch.
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
i just spent 10 minutes talking to the lady who works at taco bell about my romantic situation.
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
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