Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
I found the seven page love letter I had written you. I'm sorry i was so obsessed.
Um....I woke up to a lipgloss covered bottle of Jack daniels in my arms..
You've kissed worse.
her teeth should be alot whiter from all of those blowjobs she gives
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
it's like her boobs came off with her bra
It's 9:30am and I've already blown three loads. Reason #101 I love 25 year old girls.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
She brought over her portable harddrive and we dueled with porn. This relationship is too beautiful to last.
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
I just drunkenly accidentally had sex with my boss
Did you at least ask for a raise?
No but I am now the owner of one of either his or his roomate's teeshirts... Maybe I can use it to negotiate?
Randomize
