I'm at the bar and I just saw some unnecessary and accidental cooter...sometimes I think girls need a license to go out pantyless in public.
But I don't consider them one night stands. They're auditions.
i told her parents not too worry the way i do it girls dont get pregnant
time to smoke my breakfast
On the way home from Florida I threw up at the beginning border and ending border of 6 states. You win this year Spring Break.
My night sucks. It's really hard to masturbate with a broken finger.
You're not invited to the wedding. They don't want you starting a "who's fucked the bride the most" contest.
Then he said something about how from that angle I looked just like his mom.
Fuck. I'm going to pass the savings right on to the strippers. It's trickle down economics.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
Drunk and bowling. Only good things can come of this
My younger brother asked me "to stop fucking his girlfriends older sisters"
Randomize
