Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
look out your window.... he's holding his iphone up like a boombox playing you beach boys
Just had to return the shit I stole from the dining hall, with everyone watching...apparently there ARE consequences for being drunk, coked up and belligerent.
What the fuck am I going to do with a pinata full of tampons?
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Aside from the fact that im drinking wine straight from the bottle to save doing dishes, im also standing in front of the oven to save turning on the heater. its gonna be a rough winter.
1st rule of birth control pills: do not stop taking birth control pills. 2nd rule of birth control pills: do NOT STOP taking birth control pills.
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
If I had really thought it through, I would have bought some Depends, popped one on and made this night my bitch.
He sent me a mirror pic of himself and sent it to me and all i could think about was the amazing bong hits i took with his roommate in that bathroom.
Please come over here so I can show off my beard, talk to you about how quantum computing is actually a symptom of interstellar physics, and then put my head under your dress
What's life without a pregnancy scare?
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
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