i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
tonight's goal was "most regrettable decision" and you bring wine coolers?
I think the secretary can hear it when I fart in the bathroom, how do you think she feels about that?
I took it to a new level. I'm procrastinating taking my adderall. Hate finals week.
her idea of "friends with benefits" is her doing my laundry. i'm cool with it.
Apparently in gay bars the restroom signs are just a formality. Its a free for all in there
We are not turning the camelbak into a beer bong
She poured a bottle of rum in the champagne fountain, did like 5 jello shots at the same time, then lit herself on fire. Twice. This is how everyone should turn 21.
He drives a BMW. I have to fuck him. Girl Code Rule #26.
She woke me up with an urgent call telling me she was rolling on Mollie and swimming in the ocean. I mean that's just great. If she drowns, I'll feel responsible.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
I'm peeing on your house...you up?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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