She was lying the whole time!
She was a great actress
I was a great dumbass
We tried to play doctor all sexually then he was taking down my 'symptoms' I said I needed to puke he thought it was part of the game
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
No one intentionally makes bad decisions, just errors in judgement. You have your boyfriend I have a restraining order from universal studios. It's all relative
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Ugh did we play golf last night and did you by chance hit my head with a club or a ball?
I think he just caught a duck in mid flight
We let him drunkenly pack his own bags without checking them. Yet no one was surprised when the TSA girl pulled a 12 pack out of his carry on.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
I know I come to this conclusion on a fairly regular basis but I really do need a babysitter
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
