Sex on a kitchen table is not as amazing as they make is seem in the movies.
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
Pretty sure my boner drove me home. Like it didn't just do the steering it was the gas and brake too..
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I'm so hungover I just peed on my hand and left it, didn't wash... Killin it in 2915
I'm out of milk so I'm dunking my Oreos in Bailey's; this is my life now.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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