Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
I'll start drinking again when I know where I am
I had to remind him that there is no "age exchange rate" between the u.s. and spain, and that 16 will always equal 16
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
do you ever think like no deep thought could take place in the spanish language? like all they talk about is like tacos?
how high are you?
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
Well I can cross 'get my dick slathered in coconut oil while watching the bob's burgers porn parody' off my bucket list.
Why are you barefoot at a strip club?
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
Randomize
