that girl last night was a 15
wait she was 15?
no like black jack not sure if you should hit it
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Word of advice, don't put your jar if peanut butter in the microwave, blue fire comes out
apparently my buddy was fucking on our couch downstairs so i decided it was necessary to walk downstairs naked in a hockey mask.
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
So nothing to worry about, but i'm probly going to jail soon, just thought i should let you know so you didn't worry. Bye!
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Best and worst whiskey dick ever. I am hungover and can't move from the hours of sex, he on the other hand has a raw bruised dick. I win.
Randomize
