How wet are you?
Ever heard of a U-boat?
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
I woke up because I was nodding to the dream question of "would you like a sombrero?"
If I squint, he looks like Jude Law. But that's kind of a weird face to make during sex.
There are flashing lights and a man dressed as Santa with a bullhorn in my cul de sac.
I'm not sure if this is awesome or scary.
My dads not up on pop culture but he's not dumb enough to believe your 2 girls 1 cup reference at dinner was from the bible.
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Sexual favors are the only currency recognized by the Republic of Greg
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
Are you ok?!
I assume I've stopped bleeding because I haven't passed out, but can't verify currently.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Randomize
