so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
I just walked by a party bus on my way to study. God hates me.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
Mega depressed bro. Had the greatest sex with the hottest girl I've ever seen and in the AM she gave me that look I've given dozens of times. I'm her drunken fat chick fuck
you pulled down your pants to convince a girl you were god
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
Good news my life of crime finally paid off
Apparently stoned me thought eating chips in the shower was a good idea.
i really didnt think i was that drunk last night but the txts from unknwn #s that say i like your lace panties are def telling me otherwise
Why yes, I DID want cramps for Christmas, how did you know God?
Randomize
