My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
birth control should be required to get into college
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
I'll show rhose boucners: You don't let me in, I poop on your pool.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
You just seemed really offended whenever my cup was empty.
i just remember doing it on a pile of clothes while i heard the muffled sound of his friend laughing. then i realized we were in a closet.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
What changed your mind?
Being sober
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
Had to walk of shame past Westminster Abbey this morning. Pretty sure a Japanese tourist took a photo of me.
we panicked because we couldn't find you anywhere, but then we found you tripping in the bathtub with Marie's cat. there was no water. you thought there was water, though.
Randomize
