Midnight walks are trippy
I tried to do that earlier, but I was alone and scared, so I stole a happy Birthday balloon.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
he acted like he had never seen anyone snort lines of adderall off of a microwave before. freshman.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
It was 16 hours of liver killing mistake making goodness
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
Hey mike is locked out, sleeping on the common room couch, no idea where his pants are nor does he know where he is. When you get this let him in? And let me know ur alive too!
Definitely went to court without a bra and panties because Mr. LastNight’s dog stole them. I guarantee you I was the only lawyer going commando in court
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