I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I walked in and she was doing shots, betting the managers if any of the customers would notice, and screaming that nothing would ruin her Saturday night. Say what you want, I like working with my sister.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Walk-of-shaming home in that dress you got arrested in. Six guys called out your name when I walked past. I've never been more proud of us.
allie, at least he made an effort and braided his goatee.
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
You disappeared for 10 minutes. Then came back with nothing but your boxers and a life jacket on to tell us we were all screwed when the flood came and you would be the only survivor.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
Also, I'm not that drunk, but I'm thinking of pulling the blinds all the way up and casting some porn up onto the living room TV to establish dominance over our neighbors.
Randomize