The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
i have more money on itunes than i do in my bank account... college.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
She fell down no less than 4 times while we were at the club. One of which was while she was in the bathroom stall next to me.
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
all the one night stand stories i have end with me crying on my RA's floor stuffing cupcakes into my mouth
Banged former boss. Adulthood achievement unlocked.
It was ok until his mom walked in and asked if he turned on the crock-pot...
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Vodka, MiraLAX and Gatorade are perfect for the night before a colonoscopy
As long as there is beach, drink, dick, in that order. I’m in.
Randomize
