so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
he proposed by singing a showtune... he might as well have had a cock in his mouth at the time
I really think we need to get on this Charlie Sheen bandwagon
I want to be ashamed of the things we do this weekend
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
i want to pour hot gravy all over you in bed
Haha yeah that's basically it. He was like "i've always had a thing for you, and even sober i still would do and feel the same way." so glad to know i am worthy of a sober hookup as well.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
He's in grad school at Harvard. I suppose that means my vagina is now smarter than I am.
I had a dream last night that I used a condom when I had sex. That's how I knew it was a dream
After the apocalypse all we'll have is vodka and twinkles.
I don't have any soul left to be crushed.
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
