I think men at large are the problem in most or all relationships. It's like trying to drag a three-legged retarded puppy through an obstacle course
And don't be too jealous. Drinking alone watching a chick flick and masturbating isn't nearly as glamorous as it sounds
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
According to you, you were with your "Eskimo bro for life" last night.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
Randomize
