i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
We met at my place after separate parties but the condom wrapper was red with hearts and said love. Does that count as a romantic date?
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
Like hey, "you just spent $135k to go to a nobody law school to drive a mini van, be a dj, live in a smalllll ass apartment that smells like cats and your girlfriend fucks other guys."
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
So far today I've found 3.5 million dollars in savings. Pretty sure management is gonna start buying me hookers if getting laid has this much payoff
Last night I somehow got INCREDIBLY wasted & thought it was a good idea to make a group chat with all the guys I'm hooking up with and just say "bye." soo I'm hiding out till next week.
I don't care how hot she was, she wouldn't stop singing "Shut Up and Dance", instant boner-killer.
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
Holy. shit. Chris has no pants on. In public. Fuck. Need you.
So I wake up to my ex girlfriends underwear hanging from the ceiling fan and the only thing i can think of is "what time is the game"
Randomize
