Take a Tylenol with a HUGE glass of water before you pass out, you'll thank me in the morning.
i dony have tylonal but i had a snickers and popcorn and a bottle of water and i am.. brushing my teeth!
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
do you remember putting condoms over both your hands and asking me if your fists would be too big.
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I'm tempted to see how fat I can get before he leaves me. It's obvious we're playing a game of chicken here.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
last night he took my thong off with his teeth... god bless champagne
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You're his holy grail. The moment he finally gets you to orgasm he'll probably just retire and become a monk.
Those boxers don't belong to me anymore. They belong to the desert surrounding Phoenix.
You have not lived until you've slid down a waterfall fucked out of your mind. Fact.
Can you confirm that you aren't dead?
Randomize